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by Thomas M. Sipos,
managing editor [May 15, 2020]
[HollywoodInvestigator.com]
Horror films about reality TV shows, and the contestants who suffer on
them, have been a staple since
Halloween: Resurrection. In
Human Zoo, the show is called Solitary Confinement.
Contestants
are locked away in tiny cells, in solitary confinement. No windows. Just a mat
to sleep on. A bucket for a toilet. A camera so viewers at home can
watch. And every day, water and oatmeal. Contestants are told they can
leave anytime, but then they forfeit the prize money. Last one out
wins $2 million.
Human Zoo opens in a manner typical for the subgenre. Potential
contestants are interviewed on camera by the producers. This
introduces us to the characters. As usual, it's a disparate bunch.
Cocky guys and sassy gals with shallow dreams for the prize money. A
nerdy Asian. A badass black. A few desperate people with medical or
financial difficulties.
These intros, and then some showers, take nearly a half hour. Then the
contestants are locked in their rooms. And then nothing happens for
the next 80 minutes. Nothing but people alone in their tiny cells.
They yell. Scream. Cry. Hallucinate. Throw feces at the camera. And
beg to be let out.
Surprise -- no one is being let out! Ever.
It eventually dawns on some contestants that they will never be
released. That no one even knows where they are. Who is watching them
on camera? Private voyeurs, the sort who watch snuff films? Maybe.
Maybe not. Some contestants scream at the camera that this is not
right. It's like caged animals in a zoo must feel.
Which might be the film's whole point.
Human Zoo is tedious, dreary, distasteful, and maddeningly dull.
Rarely qualities that filmmakers hope to evoke on screen. Yet I think
that director and co-writer John E. Seymore is attempting a message
here. He wants us to feel what caged zoo animals might be feeling.
It's the sort of message that PETA fans will laud.
Can you feel the characters' boredom, frustration, outrage? Is that
how you feel while while watching this turgid mess of film? Remember
that the next time you gawk at caged animals in a zoo -- and be
ashamed!
Unfortunately, while PETA fans might delight in seeing humans get
their comeuppance, horror fans will be less enthralled.
Human Zoo is not scary. Once locked away, no one is threatened,
frightened, tormented, or killed. No one attempts an escape. None is
possible. There is no drama. No story. We wait for something to
happen. Nothing ever does. Just characters talking to themselves while
going insane. No horror film about insanity has even been so mundane
and uneventful.
"No, not oatmeal again! Not again!" screams one young woman as someone
slides her daily meal through the slot. Well, I guess zoo animals
would also welcome a little variety in their cuisine.
Human Zoo is not an especially well made film. Its production values
are serviceable but crude. There are no beautiful compositions. Closed
circuit cameras in the cells provide many of the shots, though we are
sometimes treated to closeups. Lighting is harsh. The writing isn't
much to write home about. Much of it seems improvised by the cast.
The acting is acceptable, but unexceptional. I looked forward to
Human Zoo because its cast includes Trista Robinson. I first noticed
her last year in the much better
Queen of the Damned. I wanted to see more of her work. But this
work was best left unseen.
Human Zoo appears to have had a very low budget. At least, there's
no money apparent on screen. I've seen my share of shoddy, no-budget,
horror films about reality TV shows.
Within the Woods
and
Death on Demand were crude, crappy efforts. But at least they had
entertainment value.
There is no fun in watching
Human Zoo. I fast-forwarded through much of the caged characters'
mundane ramblings. If Seymore wanted to make an insufferably dull
film, to convey how animals might feel in zoos, mission accomplished.
But if he wanted to do so while entertaining or thrilling us, then
Human Zoo is a massive failure.
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